Music of this moment in time

When the lights go down and there's nothing left to be

When the lights go down and truth is all you see
When you feel that hole inside your soul
And wonder what you're made of
Well we all find out
When the lights go down

           -"When The Lights Go Down" -- Faith Hill

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along

           -"Move Along" -- The All-American Rejects

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

           -"Breathe (2 AM)" -- Anna Nalick

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now
Wish right now
Wish right now

           -"Airplanes" --B.O.B ft. Hailey Williams

I'm scared of lonely
And I'm scared of being the only shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared the only heartbeat I hear beating is my own
And I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost in this dream, I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely
I'm scared of lonely.....

           -"Scared of Lonely" -- Beyonce

These days we go to waste like wine
That's turned to turpentine
It's six AM and I'm all messed up
I didn't mean to waste your time
So I'll fall back in line
But I'm warning you we're growing up

           -"Turpentine" -- Brandi Carlile

Everybody's talking all this stuff about me
Why don't they just let me live?
I don't need permission, make my own decisions
That's my prerogative
that's my prerogative 
(it's my prerogative)

           -"My Prerogative" -- Britney Spears

Does Anybody Hear Her

She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away

If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

He is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

("Does Anybody Hear Her" - Casting Crowns)

My Christmas Playlist

'Tis the season for Christmas music! Here is a playlist of my favorite holiday tunes.

~"The Nutcracker Suite" -Brian Setzer Orchestra

~"Winter Wonderland" -Brooks & Dunn



~"Feliz Navidad" -Celine Dion



~"Mistletoe" -Colbie Caillat



~"Christmas Song" -Dave Matthews Band



~"Little Drummer Boy" -Faith Hill



~"We Need a Little Christmas" -Glee Cast



~"Happy Xmas (War is Over)" -John Lennon



~"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" -Judy Garland



~"The Season For Romance" -Lee Ann Womack



~"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"-Little Big Town



~"Christmas Is All Around" -Billy Mack (Love Actually)



~"All I Want For Christmas Is You" -Mariah Carey



~"O Holy Night" -Martina McBride



~"I'll Be Home For Christmas" -Michael Buble



~"Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" -N*SYNC



~"All I Want For Christmas Is You" -Olivia Olson (Love Actually)



~"River" -Sarah McLachlan



~"The Christmas Song" -She & Him



~"Deck the Halls" -SHeDAISY



~"City of Silver Dreams" -Sugarland



~"Little Wood Guitar" -Sugarland



~"Christmas Won't Do Without You" -Tess Henley



Let me know what your favorite holiday songs are!

Stuck

Serious relationships.
Getting engaged.
Weddings.
Buying houses.
Having babies.

Moving forward.

Single.
Unemployed.
Poor.

Stuck.

Blessed are those who mourn

"Blessed are those who mourn - they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4

Mourning was the topic of Pastor Ryan's sermon at Eastlake last night. I saw on Facebook that this is what would be discussed and I'm not gonna lie, I debated whether or not I wanted to go. I've done my fair share of mourning, and I really didn't want to drag up old memories. Plus, I've been feeling extra-emotional lately and I was afraid that I was going to burst into tears in the middle of service. After praying for 4.5 years for God to heal Gloria and then having her pass away at 11-years-old, I was familiar with mourning. I turned away from God for a long time. And then the recent death of Gloria's younger brother, Anthony...It was so much for the Strauss family to bear and I didn't understand why God would put so much pain on one family. Especially a family who were so devout and faithful to Him, and who did everything right. But it turns out that it was a good thing that I went.

Things started out well, with the worship band playing three of my favorite songs:

Great by Worth Dying For on Ammunition -http://bit.ly/Rtc4Ul
Burning Ones by Jesus Culture on Consumed -http://bit.ly/PwQRNl
When You're Here by David Lunsford on Eastlake IV -http://bit.ly/wyyuf7

Then Ryan spoke so beautifully about mourning. He said that mourning is a blessing, and that "to be blessed is to be the privileged recipient of divine favor."

"Blessed are those who mourn - they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4

"In this world, you will be plagued with times of trouble..." John 16:33

"It is better to go to a funeral than a celebration. Why? Because death is the end of life's journey, and the living should always take that to heart. Sorrow beats foolish laughter; embracing sadness somehow gladdens our hearts. A wise heart is well acquainted with grief, but a foolish heart seeks only pleasure's company." Ecclesiastes 7:2-4

To mourn, we have to stop pretending that we are going to live forever. We are forced to face our own mortality. America is a culture of comfort. We would rather shun pain and anything associated with it than face it head on. We seek comfort instead of indulging in what we are really feeling.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted..." Psalm 34:18

For true mourning to occur, there has to be love. For those who have really mourned, some choose to live life on the surface. They have superficial relationships and friendships. They are connected on the world wide web and social media, but don't have anyone they can really talk to.

To mourn is profoundly human. When you have suffered a great loss, do not close yourself off to love again. Like a child who has fallen off his bicycle, we too must get up and try again. Ryan said something that really stuck with me: "Do not forsake the divine spark within you. Do not be afraid to risk in love."If you try and tuff your grief, it will come out of you. You can either mourn, or you can medicate. Medicating your grief can only last you for so long before it doesn't work anymore.

"Weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15

Pain draws us together. Maybe it is pain or mourning that allows us to open up to receive comfort in the first place. Vulnerability does not come easy to any of us. It's never easy to ask for help.

On the cross, Jesus not only suffers for us but with us. He says, "I am not immune to your pain." We are not indifferent to pain. We will either reject it, or embrace God. We will pound our fists and curse and scream and reject Him completely, or we will grasp at His holy robes with the invisible threads of blind faith that we have and cling to Him with everything that we have.

"We do not grieve as those who have no hope." 1 Thessalonians 4:13

"God himself will be with them...He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:3-4 I need to believe that this is true...There needs to be justice for this world. Children are taken from us too young, disease runs rampant, and crime steals the lives of loved ones before their time.

"Be doers of the word and not hearers only..." James 1:22

Ryan also included this video of stories of mourning from fellow Eastlakers. I immediately recognized Samantha Paul, mother of Rachel Beckwith. She reminds me so much of Kristen Strauss, and I just want to wrap her up in a giant hug and let her know that Rachel and Gloria are probably painting Heaven pink together and looking down on their Mommies.

Watch with a tissue!


Blessed - Matthew 5:4 from EastLake Church on Vimeo.

Milah and Stephanie's ice cream adventure

I have an ice cream problem. Milah has an ice cream problem. Together, we could get into a lot of trouble. (Although Milah runs 684959 marathons a year, so you would never know.)

At lunch today, we were talking about our favorite places to get ice cream in Seattle, so I decided to do some research...

I'm compiling a list of places to go for local ice cream and we shall go and gorge ourselves.

Molly Moon's

Flavors include:
-Honey lavender
-Theo chocolate
-Salted caramel

Full Tilt Ice Cream

Full Tilt Ice Cream makes all natural ice cream and frozen desserts with as much creativity and local ingredients as possible. Our retail outlets feature new and vintage arcade and pinball machines, an eclectic mix of sodas, an amazing mix of music on our stereos, and some of the finest beers the Northwest has to offer. After extensive research and testing, we have scientifically created a fun environment for people of all ages.

D'Ambrosio Gelato

Flavors include:
-Cocco (coconut)
-Gianduia (chocolate-hazelnut)
-Melone (cantaloupe)

Gelatiamo

Flavors include:

-Malted whopper

-Mocha

-Passion fruit

Peaks Frozen Custard

Flavors include:

-Ginger cookie marshmallow (Chunks of real ginger cookies and ribbons of sweet marshmallow cream

-Fall in Latte (Real espresso beans and a blend of cardamom, cloves, nutmeg and cinnamon infused into Peaks creamy custard for a coffee spice treat)

-Magic mint cookie in chocolate (Crisp mint-chocolate cookies loaded into our decadent chocolate)

Cupcake Royale

Flavors include:

-Dance Party with Holly Hobbie (Triple vanilla ice cream with chunks of Dance Party cupcakes)

-Peppermint Party (Muddled organic fresh mint, Seely's organic mint oil and chunks of Peppermint Party cupcakes)

-Blueberry Lavender (Local fresh blueberries, cream steeped in lavender buds and a dash of Scrappy's Lavender Bitters)

Old School Frozen Custard

Flavors include:

-Malted peanut butter dream (Malt vanilla with Reeces mixed in)

-Red velvet cake

-Chocolate mocha bark

Fainting Goat Gelato

Flavors include:

-Creme Brulee

-Nutella

-Pumpkin Spice

______________________

And I'm sure that there are a ton more places. And I'm sure that I'll weigh 5839 pounds when we're done.

Cancer can suck it

Cancer.

Six little letters, but deadly when put together. Cancer has taken the lives of too many people that I know and care for, but now it's gunning for my family.

We found out a few months ago that my Uncle Phillip (my mom's oldest brother) had a brain tumor. We thought it was benign at first, but it's fast growth quickly proved us wrong. A few weeks ago, he started losing control of his body and having seizures, which are all signs of a brain tumor. Never a fan of Western medicine, him and his life partner (common-law wife) packed up the car and drove to Texas to some holistic center for some last-ditch karmic healing.

I just got word from my cousin that he is now in a hospital in the ICU. I spoke to my dad and apparently he has lost consciousness because the tumor is so large and pressing against certain parts of his brain and was admitted to the ICU somewhere in the San Antonio area. My Uncle Warren flew down there today to see what is going on, because it's tough to get information from them.

My Uncle Phil. Always so full of life and laughter. Now lying in some hospital hundreds of miles away from his family...

Uncle Phil and Rach

Uncle Phil and Poppa (his dad)

Phil and Wendy (his partner)

Uncle Phil with some of his nieces

Please, pray for him. Also pray for my grandfather. I can't imagine how much pain this must be causing him.