I love me a good concert!

Last night, I went to the Melissa Etheridge concert at Woodland Park Zoo. Melissa was an amazing performer, and it really got me thinking about all the great shows that I've been to over the years! Here's a list of all the people I've seen.

I'll start with my very first concert, but then the rest will be in no particular order.

Christina Aguilera

Trace Adkins

Keith Anderson

Jessica Andrews

Dierks Bentley

Big & Rich

Blaine Larsen

Brad Paisley

Brooks & Dunn

Kenny Chesney

Terri Clark

Craig Morgan

Darryl Worley

Faith Hill

Gloriana

Gretchen Wilson

Jo Dee Messina

Toby Keith

Kellie Pickler

Lady Antebellum

LeeAnn Womack

Little Big Town

Martina McBride

Reba McEntire

Tim McGraw

Phil Vassar

Rascal Flatts

Shania Twain

Sugarland

Taylor Swift

Joan Osborne

Lucinda Williams

Indigo Girls

Brandi Carlile

k.d. lang

The Go-Go's

Aimee Mann

The Weepies

Melissa Etheridge

My Father, My Hero

I am a Daddy's Girl, through and through. Daddies and daughters have a special bond, and you can't understand it unless you have that relationship. It's funny, the evolution of the relationship between me and my dad.

Our first photo together at home

My dad LOVES hockey. Thus, it was only meant to be that I would love hockey! Dad started my love of the game early. When singing me to sleep at night, instead of the traditional lullaby, my dad would sing me the Canadian national anthem. (To this day, I can still sing it!)

Note my dad's hockey jersey! Can you guess the team? (Montreal Canadiens!)

Growing up, Dad worked for the Federal Government's Department of Justice, specifically the Bureau of Prisons. As a kid, I used this to my full advantage on the playground. If someone was messing with me, I would just say, "You better be nice to me, or my dad will put you in jail!" Worked pretty well most of the time! My dad's job was also the cause of our moving from place to place. 

I was born in Livermore, California. 

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Celebrating Dad's 30th birthday at the Livermore house

My 1st Easter with Daddy

We moved to Santa Maria, California during the middle of my second grade year, when my dad got a promotion.

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We were only there for 2.5 years, when my dad got another promotion and we moved up to Federal Way, Washington before fifth grade.

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I didn't like having to move. But looking back, it taught me a lot of things. It helped make me an extrovert. It thought me how to make friends. It taught me how to be more flexible and acclimate into new situations. All in all, we lived in 3 houses, and 2 apartments.

While I thought that moving twice was bad, it wasn't until after I grew up that I found out that we could have moved a lot more. My dad had the opportunity to be promoted to higher positions, but he wanted stability for his family, so he turned down offers. That's just one example of how amazing my dad is.

When I was in college, my dad retired after 26 years working for the Federal Government. There was a flag ceremony outside his final place of work, and I was in tears because I was so proud of my dad for his service.

After the flag was lowered, it was folded.

Watching the flag being folded

Dad being presented with the folded flag

So proud of my Daddy!

Other reasons why I love my Daddy, and things that he's taught me:

-My Dad has instilled in me the importance of having a family dinner every night. (With no tv on!)

-The love of sports!

Hockey game!

-An appreciation for traveling around the country via car instead of airplane.

Dad in his favorite chair: the driver's seat!

-A love for hiking, camping, and the great outdoors!

Hiking at my fave place, Lake Louise in Alberta, Canada

Dad and I ice skating at Yosemite at Christmas

Not even snow can stop us from hiking! (Hope, British Columbia)

-The tradition of cutting down our own Christmas tree every year

Hauling the tree cart until we found the perfect one

I think the best thing about my dad is that the older I get, the younger he gets. He's so goofy, especially after a few glasses of wine or beer. Now that I'm an adult, we can really talk. He's a great listener, and I know that I can tell him anything without being judged or scolded. 

Case in point: When I told my parents that I didn't really consider myself a Catholic anymore, my dad was really supportive. He said that as long as I found a church home that I was comfortable in, that's what it was all about.

I'm so incredibly blessed to have Steven Squires as my daddy! There's this pin that my dad used to have pinned to the lamp by his bed and it's actually so true about him:

Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy.

The handsome Steven Squires

I love you, Daddy!

Love,

Your Pumpkin

So you want to know what it's really like?

When I tell people that I have a chronic pain condition, the most common reactions are usually, "Oh, that sucks." "I'm sorry!" "Oh, my [insert relative here] has [insert disease here.]" When it comes to living my day-to-day life with pain, there are some people (like my family) who don't understand why I can't just pop an Advil and go on with my day. Others are sympathetic, but really don't know what to do or say.

I wanted to write a post to share about what living with chronic pain is really like, so people might understand a little more.

**Disclaimer: I'm under the influence of muscle relaxers, so hopefully this all makes sense!**

*I'm going to write about the situation that I've been dealing with for the past 6 weeks, but that'll give you a clear picture of what I deal with.*

*GLOSSARY*
   -Soma: A skeletal muscle relaxant; acs on the central nervous system to relax muscles
   -Valium: A benzodiazepine used to relieve muscle spasms; relaxes muscles
   -Percocet: A combination of oxycodone and acetaminophen; relieves moderate to severe pain
   -Tramadol: An opioid analgesic that relieves moderate to moderately severe pain
   -Trigger Point Injection: A procedure in which a health care professional inserts a small needle into  the patient's trigger point; the injection contains a local anesthetic and corticosteroid
   -Voltaren gel: A nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug used to treat pain and swelling
   -Zofran: A strong anti-nausea medication, commonly used for chemo nausea

Six weeks ago, I woke up one morning with a HORRIBLE pain in my neck. It felt really swollen, and I could barely turn my head. I thought that I had just slept on it wrong, so I took a Soma and went about my day. A week later and it didn't get any better. I made an appointment with Milah, my primary care provider, and she did an exam and could feel inflammation in my neck. She sent me for x-rays and put me on steroids to see if it would decrease it.

Nothing.

I put my Google Medical Degree to good use as I followed Milah's directions to alternate Soma, Tramadol, and Percocet every 6, 8 hours.

Time went on and when there was no decrease in symptoms, Milah referred me to Dr. Nago, my neurologist. Dr. Nago did his own exam, and could palpably feel knots in my back. He gave me injections in those trigger points in my back in an attempt to block the pain signals and give me some relief.  He scheduled me for an MRI of my neck, just to make sure that I didn't have any bulging discs or some larger underlying problems. He also prescribed me Voltaren gel, an anti-inflammatory gel that I could apply topically to hopefully provide some relief.

At this point, I have all of my medications lined up at home, including a new, stronger, prescription for Zofran for my nausea. The Soma hasn't worked, so Milah has prescribed Valium, a stronger muscle relaxer.

Now, my biggest decisions are what medications to take and when, with one of the biggest factors being how functional I want to be versus how much pain I can tolerate. Sound fun?

Where I stand today


I had a follow-up with Dr. Nago yesterday. My MRI looked good, which he expected. Since the pain is still going on, he's decided to try something new.

My new plan:

• Wean off the Topamax, the migraine preventative that I'm on. Clearly, I'm still having migraines so this isn't doing a very good job. However, if my migraines start to increase while I'm weaning off the Topamax, obviously it's doing something, so continue to take it.
• Wait for the insurance to approve the use of Botox injections in my neck, which should greatly improve my migraines.
• Go and see Dr. Yu at Swedish Pain Center for x-ray-guided injections into my neck for pain relief
• Partner with Milah to see if Maureen (my previous pain management psychologist) will see me on an extremely-reduced fee basis.
• Try adding Lyrica to my daily medications for a month. This should help with my fibromyalgia. If it doesn't work in a month, we can stop it. 

So that's what I go through. Oh, and that's just medically. Add on the stress of job hunting, interviews, and attempting to have a social life.

So please, don't say that you understand, or that you've been there. Unless you live with a chronic pain disease, you really can't understand it. 

If we have plans to go out and do something and I say that I can't because my pain has flared up, please don't think that I'm being flaky. Some days I only have so much energy to do things. 

You can ask how I'm doing, and I promise that I'll try to be honest. Most days I put on a brave face and pretend like everything is fine. But I'm trying to be more vulnerable and allow people to be there for me. If I'm not feeling good, feel free to bring over a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a movie and hang out with me. :)

Finally, another really great testimonial of what it's like to live with chronic pain is written by Christine Miserandino and is called The Spoon Theory. Check it out: The Spoon Theory

That's my life. I may not have bulging muscles, but I'm tough. 

My 2012 Summer Fun List

Summer is almost here! Summers in Seattle are GORGEOUS, and certainly make up for all the rainy winter days. I'm SO EXCITED to get out in the sun, and I wanted to put together a fun list of things I want to do.

In no particular order...

Have a bonfire at Golden Gardens

Located in Ballard on Puget Sound, Golden Gardens offers extraordinary views of Puget Sound and  the Olympic Mountains. You can also have bonfires in the provided fire pits!

Go to Seattle International Beerfest

Seattle International Beerfest is a high end 3-day (July 6-8) beer festival specializing in rare, hard-to-find, exotic beers. Over 200 world-class beers from 16 countries will be on hand, hailing from all over the planet. You can walk around Seattle Center with a cold one and listen to great bands play all weekend!

Watch (at least) one of the Harry Potter movies on the Seattle Center Mural

Bring a blanket and watch a free movie at the Seattle Center Mural! This year, they're showing EVERY Harry Potter movie!!! How fun would it be to watch a movie under the needle?!

Go see King Tut: The Exhibition at Pacific Science Center

The King Tut exhibition is only a temporary exhibit at Pac Sci, and I really want to go and see it! The exhibition features more than 100 objects from King Tut's tomb and ancient sites representing some of the most important rulers throughout 2,000 years of ancient Egyptian history.

Take a tour of the Theo Chocolate Factory

I've been wanting to take this tour FOREVER! Along with being totally delicious, Theo's chocolate is also organic and Fair Trade. During the tour, you can see how the chocolate is made and best of all, TASTE TEST it! They have totally unique and yummy flavors like Toasted Coconut (in 70% cocoa), Chai Tea, and Bread & Dark Chocolate.

Eat my way through the Bite of Seattle

I love food. Seattle has some amazing noms, and I've always wanted to go to the Bite of Seattle! Three days of food, drinks, music, and sun? Yes, please.


I think that's a pretty good start to my summer fun list! Anyone else have any suggestions or want to join me on my adventures?

My new life at Eastlake Community Church

I l-o-v-e my new(ish) church, Eastlake Community Church! I feel so much closer to God since going here than I have in a really long time. Let me give you some info and background on Eastlake...

EastLake is a non-denominational, inter-generational, multi-locational (is that a word?), somewhat disorganized church started by nine friends in 2005. For us, its all about, all because of, and all for… Jesus. It’s not about buildings with baristas, bowling alleys or bookstores. We want to embody the church Jesus had in mind and he never saw church as a place to go, but as a people… not a religious institution, but a movement of love and hope. We think this whole faith thing is at its best when it motivates selfless service, sacrifice, and love… caring about the things God cares about. As a family of faith, we are committed to dispense hope to our local communities and beyond… standing up for those who live on their knees by both bringing good news and being good news. We were all created to live for something larger than ourselves and God invites everyone, everywhere into this way of living. ECC website

Pastor Jeremy and Pastor Ryan are HI-larious and each sermon not only keeps my attention (unlike a lot of Catholic homilies), but makes the bible and its topics relatable to me and my life!

What you can expect a typical Sunday at Eastlake to look like:

• friendly people will help you find your way around
• kids will enjoy their own fun, age appropriate classes during the adult service
• a live band will play 3 songs (you can just listen or sing along)
• someone will pray and say “hi”
• someone will talk about something that matters to your life
• …and the whole thing will be over in about 70 minutes

And for you visual folks like myself, here are Pastors Jeremy and Ryan with their own hilarious version of what to expect...
   



Recently, Eastlake Seattle posted a call on their facebook page for people to share their story about how God's been moving in their life. Here is what I sent:

My story is long and complicated. (What story isn't?!) But here's the reader's digest version on how Eastlake has rocked my world..

I grew up Catholic and was very involved in the church. I went to mass every Sunday, went to Sunday school, led the middle school youth group, went on retreats, etc. I even graduated from a Jesuit university (Seattle U) in 2010. After the death of a dear family friend from cancer (she was only 11), I fell away from my faith. I didn't understand how God could allow a sweet child to die so soon. I strayed from the church, and from God.

Then, I met McKinley. She knew I was struggling with my faith and invited me to come to Eastlake with her. I did, and it was such a culture shock for me. The concepts I was presented with were so foreign to me. Come as you are? Ask questions? So different then the strict religious guidelines that I grew up with. I went once or twice, but work and life got in the way and I stopped going. 

Then, I saw that McKinley was leading a Growth Group for women this session and something said that this was where I was supposed to be. I needed to start mending my relationship with God and I wanted to find others who I could learn from and share with. This Growth Group has been EXACTLY what I needed and God put all these amazing women in my life who have helped me in ways that I didn't even know that I needed help. They are my saving grace. I now go to Eastlake Seattle every Sunday with Kristen and I LOVE it. 

God and I are still developing our relationship, but I'm trying to just let go and let God. None of this would have been possible without Eastlake and the amazing women in my Growth Group. Thank you SO much for all that you do. I have a new outlook on life, and I'm even serving as an usher! My next step is to attend the 101 class and become an official member. I can't wait!!!

I want to end this post with an invitation for you to join me any Sunday at Eastlake! Here is some important information to know...


There are 3 Eastlake campuses:

1. Eastlake Seattle (the one I attend)

Kane Hall on the University of Washington Campus

4098 15th Ave NE  Seattle, WA 98105

Services: Sundays at 9:30am, 11:15am, 6pm

Contact: Website, Facebook, Twitter

     2.  Eastlake Bothell

3301 Monte Villa Parkway  Bothell, WA 98021 

Services: Sundays at 8:30am, 10am, 11:30am, 5pm, 6:30pm

Contact: Website, Facebook, Twitter

     3.  Eastlake Sammamish

Skyline High School

1122 228th Ave SE  Sammamish, WA 98075

Services: Sundays at 9:15am, 10:45am

Contact: Website, Twitter

Ok, one last video...